


Change of Heart

by tinarebekka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:31:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4085044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinarebekka/pseuds/tinarebekka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is one thing more important than anything: ensuring his own safety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Change of Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Lucius Big Bang in 2011.

Until that morning, Lucius Malfoy had no particular opinion regarding pain. It hurt when one was stupid enough to fall off one’s broom. Tumbling down the large staircases in the Manor was nothing he’d recommend, either. 

When the idiotic house-elves had to punish themselves for a mistake, it never bothered him. If anything, it was an annoying habit those creatures had, because it always cost time. You either had to wait until the one you were dealing with got over itself and finally went to do the job it had been supposed to do ages ago, or you had to call another one and risk having a repeat of the initial situation. Lucius thought the elves should get their priorities into perspective. Get the job done and then start ironing your ears. He would suggest it to the next elf that crossed his way.

Getting up, taking a shower and getting dressed took him exactly twenty minutes, as it did every morning since he had perfected his course of motions. That was necessary, because his father tolerated no tardiness and Lucius held no love for leaving his bed a minute too soon. In order to combine their likings as far as possible, he had practised each morning, honing his skills until he was able to dry his hair while he dressed, saving precious minutes, and styling it the way his father preferred while also brushing his teeth at the same time. All those things had to live up to standards Lucius had learned by heart before he could speak well enough to repeat them flawlessly.

Running at full speed until he reached the stairs, Lucius skidded to a halt and, catching his breath, descended in a more measured pace. His father mentioned what he deemed appropriate; Lucius had to abide by the rules. 

Entering the dining room at half past seven sharp, he wasn’t met by the sight he expected. Lucius had expected to see the table set, house-elves waiting within a distance to come to their beck and call, but not close enough to overhear the nonexistent conversation. His mother would sip a cup of tea, slowly and elegantly. No matter how she made it look, Lucius had once made an effort and counted the cups she drank and had been surprised. When he accumulated the amount of liquid, he arrived at the conclusion that he wouldn’t want to eat anything, too, after sipping one and a half litres of tea each morning.

His father insisted on full breakfast though he rarely ate more than a piece of toast and whatever else took his fancy that day.

The table was set as usual, but that was where the similarities ended. Both of his parents were present, but instead of occupying their usual seats at the table, they stood in the far corner of the room, facing something Lucius wasn’t able to make out from his point of view.

Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Lucius listened to the two voices in his mind, fighting for dominance. One of them insisted that he had to go over there and check what was going on. The other thought that was a bad idea and wanted Lucius to go to his place at the table, take a seat and wait for the adults to acknowledge his presence.

Against his better judgement, Lucius sided with voice number one that encouraged him to be daring. Number two was stuck up and boring, he decided. Moving as quietly as possible, as it was never accepted when his parents heard him before they saw him, Lucius crept closer. Eventually, he was able to catch a glimpse of what they were guarding. It was a young man, maybe he was only a teenager, and he was lying on the floor.

What was he doing in their house? As far as Lucius knew, they hadn’t expected guests that day. Of course, his parents were not required to inform him of their plans, but, usually, he knew what to expect. If guests had announced themselves, Lucius was to wear immaculate clothing and be on his best behaviour. He could never be sure who stood behind him at all times, so he always had to be prepared.

So, it was, in all likeliness, not a guest. That also made sense because his father despised weak, sick people. That man had to be both. Why else would he lie on his mother’s favourite hand-woven carpet? And, why were his limbs arranged in such an odd angle?

His father trained his wand on the strange man and said something Lucius didn’t quite catch. Instantly, the man started to scream and twitch. It was rather unnerving. 

“Lucius!” Suddenly, his mother had spun around and caught him standing where he had no business to be. Somehow, he must have given himself away, Lucius thought, mentally smacking himself for his own stupidity. 

His father turned as well. Coincidentally, that was the moment when the man on the floor stopped all movement. Lucius couldn’t say if he was even alive anymore.

“What do you think you’re doing?” his father snapped. His cold eyes bore into Lucius, anger and disappointment mixed in their gaze.

Lucius shifted from one foot to the other. “I…”

“Speak up! No stuttering, boy.”

“Yes sir.” He wished with all his might that he had listened to voice number two. Now he was in for a lecture. Hoping it would stave off some of his father’s anger, Lucius tried to sound like an adult when he explained himself. “I was concerned because you and mother were not sitting at the table and wanted to see what held your attention.”

His mother’s response was clipped. “It doesn’t regard you.”

Gulping, Lucius forced himself not to show his feelings outright. He merely nodded. He was not expected to say anything else at that moment until he was addressed with a question.

“You want to learn something?” 

Lucius eyes widened. His father wasn’t mad at him? “Yes sir.”

“Draw your wand and come here,” his father instructed, pulling Lucius to stand in front of him. “Point it at that piece of scum and repeat after me. _Crucio_!” He had grabbed Lucius’ wrist and directed his wand hand in the correct motion when Lucius said the curse.

The effect wasn’t quite the same his father had provoked, but there were some groans and shudders involved. Detachedly, Lucius’ mind noted that the man hadn’t been dead after all. The emphasis was on the past, though. Before his father told him to end the spell, the movement came to a stop. Nothing could be heard anymore.

Lucius learned an important lesson that day. In order not to become a victim, he would have to ensure that he was on the right side. He didn’t know what the man had done wrong, but it was obvious that he had angered the wrong people. And, he had been weak, too weak to keep himself out of harm’s way, and too stupid to find people to support him. What happened to him was his own fault.

Establishing power over other people was something very much desired, in Lucius’ opinion. He vowed to make sure that he would always be the one doing the punishing instead of finding himself on the receiving end of a curse.

Lucius’ eighth birthday had been three weeks ago.

\--

Of course, there had been ramifications for Lucius’ blatant disobedience. His mother had lectured him for almost half an hour about his transgressions. His father drove her point home by manhandling him into his room and telling him to stay out of their sight for the remainder of the weekend. By the time his father slammed the door on his way out, it was mid-morning on Friday.

So Lucius had almost three days to think about the disrespect he showed by not abiding by his parents’ rules. He was not supposed to sneak around (what he had done), he was not supposed to interrupt anything (what he had done), and he was not supposed to turn up where he had no business (what he had done). He understood that, by not allowing him to partake in meals, his parents wanted him to see what he would have to miss if he didn’t act like a proper pureblood. His parents set a high value on him acting like that, claiming that they wouldn’t want him to be a disgrace to the family name.

Unfortunately, being confined to his rooms also meant that Lucius wasn’t able to watch how they got rid of the dead man on the floor. It was the first (human) body he had ever seen and he would have loved to see what happened with it. Since the man had no friends to speak of while he was alive, Lucius doubted that anyone would come and get him now that he was dead.

The only contact to the world beyond his room was the house-elf who brought him food. After he had not been able to extract an answer out of the stupid thing, Lucius gave up, figuring that his father must have instructed Dobby not to speak to him. At first, Lucius was seething, but then he decided that a petulant elf was just what he needed. When Dobby served the next meal, he made sure the elf knew exactly how disappointed Lucius was. Allowing the right amount of anger and desperation bleed into his expression, Lucius had to hide a smirk when the elf appeared to be devastated and fled the room, only to return with burned patches on his ears when he brought lunch. Lucius noted that as a success.

\--

His father had never been blessed with the patience of a saint. However, the older Lucius got, the harder it became to live up to his father’s expectations, let alone within the allotted timeframe. It wasn’t enough that Lucius finished each school year with top grades. Why did he only get an O in the exam ending the winter term? Why did he fail to make his father proud? Didn’t Lucius care what he thought? His parents funded his schooling, so why didn’t he even make an effort?

Getting selected for the Slug Club, a club started by Hogwarts’ Potions Master Horace Slughorn, earned Lucius a short reprieve. While he wasn’t the only one, at least he was a member and his father was pleased.

No more dead people had been in their dining room before breakfast, but Lucius wasn’t stupid. Though he rarely watched something specific, he knew that many things were going on in and outside of the Manor. His father was away more and more and his mother became stricter the longer he was gone.

Over the years, Lucius was reminded regularly of the importance of gathering the right people around him. His father used to demand a list with the names of his acquaintances – having friends was not encouraged, and went through it with a fine comb. The ones who were deemed unworthy had to be discarded. His father rarely cared how he managed that feat. 

Therefore, the small amount of people who Lucius might have considered friends was quickly dwindling to nothing. Most of them his father didn’t approve of and the others disappeared because of reasons unknown to Lucius. Of course, he made a list of his own, containing the names of people who had left him. He would make sure not to help them out in the future, no matter what kind of help they might need.

When Lucius started his fifth year at Hogwarts, he was surrounded by a growing group of associates. He didn’t have to resort to violence when he wanted to make his schoolmates see his point. He knew people who did that for him. The right amount of blackmail, or, in some cases, the right amount of Galleons, secured him the loyalty he needed.

Watching the Sorting out of the corner of his eye, trying to appear most uninterested, Lucius pretended to listen to what Narcissa Black had to say. During the summer holidays, his parents had let him know that they felt a marriage between the House of Malfoy and the House of Black would be beneficial for all involved. No one ever asked Lucius what he wanted and he figured he was lucky that, at least, his future wife was not as ugly as some other pureblood witches he could name. He didn’t particularly like her, but that was something he could ignore.

Another first year shuffled towards the Slytherin table and this one looked especially pathetic. A boy, scrawny and dressed in clothes that would put the Malfoy house-elves to shame, so bad did they look. Come to think of it, the elves were better fed as well. Lucius wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned his full attention to Narcissa.

As a prefect he was one of the unfortunate souls to accompany the huddle of first years down into the dungeons. One of them, the scruffy boy he had noticed earlier, was lagging behind.

“You!” Lucius hissed, causing everyone’s head snap up. Fortunately, the black-haired kid looked also up and so Lucius refrained from a repeat. “Get moving,” he just added harshly. The boy complied without complaint, allowing Lucius to ponder what he had seen.

Merlin, but that boy’s gaze was eerie. No human had eyes that dark. They made him appear mysterious and Lucius hated mysterious people. If the mystery was born out of appearance, he could tolerate it. If it was real, that was unfortunate because it could mean that person was harder to manipulate or impossible to threaten. None of that was acceptable in Lucius’ book.

If Lucius didn’t have the upper hand in a situation, he was uncomfortable. He hated feeling that way.

A prime example of a situation that almost went out of control was his first time. When Lucius turned fourteen, he decided that he was old enough to lose his virginity. According to the talk in the Slytherin common room, most of his year mates were more experienced. Back then, Lucius hadn’t known they were lying, boasting and telling fake stories of their conquests, when the only sex partner they had had was their own hand.

He couldn’t be the last remaining virgin and so, Lucius went ahead and searched for someone appropriate. He didn’t want to have intercourse with just anyone and, even more important, it had to be someone he had well in hand. It wouldn’t do to have tales about him circulating among his peers and in the school. He doubted he would act like a fumbling idiot – he had read books, but one could never be too cautious.

His decision fell on a pureblood girl. She was no Slytherin, but she wasn’t scum, either. Considering that her father was a few steps lower in the pecking order than his own father, he felt safe enough to take the risk.

Once he had that problem out of the way, Lucius was even more convinced that he had done the right thing. It had not gone quite as smoothly as expected and he shuddered to think what amount of blackmail material the inside knowledge would have presented if it were to fall into the wrong hands.

Other people, he mused, were far too trusting. He had no idea how they did it and why they would want to do that was beyond him. They made themselves deliberately vulnerable and everyone knew what happened when you let down your guard. You got harmed and, when you had no backup, you got yourself killed before you knew it.

That first year was like him. His eyes and expression gave nothing away. While that was commendable, it made things difficult for Lucius. To stave off problems in the future, Lucius decided to keep a close watch on the boy, starting now.

Once he and Alyssa Davis, the female prefect, had sorted the firsties into their respective dorms, they allowed them half an hour to squabble about who got which bed. After the time was up, they called them back into the common room.

There was no official house meeting taking place, but it was tradition that the fifth year prefects summoned the newly sorted students. They would make them aware of the school rules and the rules that were valid inside the Slytherin dorms. More important than that ‘official’ reason was the idea that the young ones had to learn who was to be obeyed. They were, of course, supposed to respect their elders in general, but wearing a prefect badge in Slytherin made you something special.

The kids suitably cowed, Lucius allowed Davis the stage. She explained all about the study groups on Saturdays and informed her audience that it was mandatory for everyone to attend. Slytherin would not take the loss of house points well.

Lucius’ gaze roamed over the children and stopped at the sight of the black eyed urchin. He was watching the other children’s every move. A thought struck Lucius and he spoke up.

“Davis, we forgot to ask for their names. If one of them messes up, we have to know who to punish,” he added.

And, that was how Lucius learned that the boy was called Severus Snape. He was, in all likeliness, a half-blood or worse, because Lucius had never heard that surname before. It looked like Snape had every reason to be cautious.

\--

Almost three years later, Lucius wasn’t feeling any more confident when it came to figuring out Snape. 

He seemed to have established an ongoing war with a bunch of blood traitors housed in Gryffindor. Lucius didn’t know what they did to rile Snape up every time without fail, though. Aside from that, it was obvious that he wasn’t interested in making adversaries. 

Snape kept to himself and his studies. Lucius had heard that Snape had fast advanced to Slughorn’s most talented student. Of course, his less than stellar bloodline and lack of influence to speak of disqualified him from being admitted to the Slug Club. Lucius could understand that decision. Clearly, Snape would not be of any use to their professor in the future.

 

To his utmost surprise, Lucius had soon found out that Snape’s mysterious behaviour was not as much of an annoyance as he had feared. Instead, it made him curious and now he was fascinated with the other boy.

From time to time, they talked in the common room. Carefully, Lucius chose occasions when not many other people were around to see him speak with Snape. He didn’t count as worthy company and Lucius wouldn’t want his father to hear about it. He wasn’t keen on the consequences. Though he gave it his best effort, it was impossible to extract any private information out of Snape. At the end of his third year, he was one of the most accomplished liars at Hogwarts. Lucius himself could hardly be called a beginner in that regard, but that boy took caution to a new level.

\--

The night had been bad. Really bad.

Through the years, Lucius had almost forgotten about that young man in the dining room, but tonight it had all come back to him. Now he knew not only the incantation and the correct wand motion of the Cruciatus Curse. Now he also knew how it felt.

It had been awful.

Lucius was so disappointed. He had been looking forward to that night, even bugged his father for years to let him join that exclusive club. Once he had turned seventeen, he had finally been old enough and his father had agreed to take him to the next meeting. Lucius had been happy. He would meet dozens, if not hundreds of potential ‘friends’. At least, in this surrounding, he could be sure that they were the right sort of wizard.

At first, it had all been very exciting. Lucius took advantage of the Hogsmeade weekend and used the Floo at the Three Broomsticks to go home where his father was supposed to meet him.

From there, his father would Apparate them to an unknown location. When they landed in front of a Manor house, his father told him that this was the base of their organisation. Lucius was duly impressed and voiced it. Entering the building after passing by two sets of wards, Lucius’ anticipation increased.

It wasn’t an unusual sight for Lucius to see his father in his Death Eater attire. He himself was wearing black robes, the hood pulled over his head. But, he wasn’t prepared to see masses of people dressed all in black, their faces hidden behind masks. It seemed terribly impersonal.

He also noticed that no one was chatting. They were not loosely gathered in groups. Everyone stood tall with their faces directed towards a throne situated on a pedestal. It was still unoccupied when Lucius and his fathered entered the room and made their way through the crowd to the front.

A few people dipped their heads in greeting when his father passed them, but otherwise, no one paid any attention to them.

A wave of anticipation rippled through the room, the air seemed to get a little colder and became laced with a strange static – Lucius was impressed – and then he sat an on his throne. How he got there, Lucius couldn’t say.

His eyes raked over the people gathered in front of him and Lucius was convinced that he could identify everyone present, no matter that they were disguised. He was the greatest wizard of all time, surely he had his means.

“We have a recruit in our midst,” the Dark Lord said, not looking at anyone in particular. Still, his comment demanded a response and Lucius was pushed forward by his father.

Looking up in surprise, Lucius’ eyes met the Dark Lord’s gaze.

“Young Mr Malfoy.”

“My Lord.”

“Well, approach.”

Lucius did as he was told and, within seconds, he stopped in front of the pedestal, unsure if he was supposed to proceed or if he should maintain some distance. He opted for distance because that, in his opinion, would be more polite.

“Step closer,” the Dark Lord snapped, causing Lucius to jump and comply.

Up close, the power the man radiated was tangible and Lucius shuddered. Going against the Dark Lord’s wishes would be suicide, he could feel it. That was when the uneasiness started to rear its head.

Lucius had wanted to come here, had fought for it. But, when he had imagined that day, he had not been aware that once he set foot inside the lair of the Dark Lord, there was no going back. He was trapped. He didn’t like that.

The Dark Lord reached forward and tapped Lucius’ chin. When he lifted his head, their gazes locked and Lucius learned that what he had thought were quite formidable skills in Occlumency held for a split second.

He didn’t know how long it took, but when the Dark Lord left his mind, he sagged to the floor, retching. The headache he got due to the ruthless invasion was killing him.

“Abraxas, your son is quite thirsty for power. He knows who’s worth his time and which individuals to dispose of. Unfortunately, he’s also very keen on furthering his own advantages. I don’t appreciate that. My interest is to be every Death Eater’s upmost priority. _Crucio_.”

Lucius was caught unaware when the curse hit. He was lucky that he was already cowering on the floor, because otherwise he would have keeled over when the pain started. Then all rational thought stopped.

\--

If he thought the Cruciatus Curse was as bad as it could get, he was sorely mistaken. Getting marked was worse, so much worse. The pain was unbelievable. Lucius thought his arm would burst into flames any moment. And then he noticed how something was interweaving itself with his magic.

He was doomed.

The meeting after that was filled with reports from various Death Eaters and a few people, probably Muggles, died. Well, died was the wrong expression. They were killed and Lucius was the one pointing his wand at them.

It wasn’t too bad. Inflicting pain on other people was usually no issue in his opinion. As long as he was safe, all was well. The knowledge that setting one toe out of line could cost him his life was what discomfited him.

Lucius’ wand had been trained on them while he had been in the line of target of the Dark Lord and his minions. He had been in mortal danger! 

As he was staring into the flames, curled up in an armchair in the common room, Lucius mused that it had been nothing like he expected. He hadn’t met one person at the meeting. No one had spoken to him; no one had even acknowledged his presence. 

Instead of finding people who could be guided into supporting him, he had been recruited into the army of the Dark Lord – one of hundreds of dispensable soldiers. It didn’t sit well with him at all. The only way to save his skin was by becoming the best Death Eater there had ever been. He was determined to be the most cunning, submissive and ruthless one. He would make himself irreplaceable.

Suddenly, his head jerked up. Someone was watching him. Looking around, his eyes landed on something or rather someone hiding in the shadows by the entrance. He was about to send a hex in that direction when Snape stepped into the light of a nearby torch.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? It’s in the middle of the night and you are supposed to be in bed,” Lucius snapped. That kid was always sneaking around and, as far as Lucius was concerned, that was a bad habit. It could be tolerated when Snape used his talent to spy on other people, but Lucius’ privacy was to be respected at all costs.

“I thought I heard something,” Snape said. 

Of course, that had to be a lie. Lucius had been here for about an hour and he had not heard anything suspicious.

“You were dreaming,” Lucius replied coldly.

“That might be possible if I had been asleep.”

“And why were you not?”

“You don’t want to know,” Severus said. He was right. Lucius didn’t want to know. But, he was still annoyed that his explanation had been shot down.

“You’re tired and your mind must have been playing tricks on you.”

“My hearing is excellent and seldom betrays me.” 

“Sometime is always the first time,” Lucius said with a hint of finality in his tone.

Spinning around without another word, Snape stalked out. Lucius watched him go and sniffed. That boy always had to make a dramatic exit. No one else was able to make his dressing gown billow that way.

Sniffing again, he cursed Snape in his mind. Why did he have to come and bother him? Hadn’t his night been bad enough? There was nothing to say and the boy was lucky that Lucius hadn’t taken out his bad mood on him. Nosy little git.

\--

“Stop watching me!” Lucius spun around, uncaring that his elbow connected with an unfortunate second year that was walking by. His eyes zeroed in on their target. “And don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!”

“A bit paranoid today, aren’t we?” Bulstrode, one of his year mates, asked. 

“Don’t you think it’s sad that it makes you happy?”

“What makes me happy, Malfoy? I wasn’t aware that you knew me so well,” she said, batting her eyelashes. 

“I don’t. Nor do I want to,” Lucius added immediately. Stupid bint. She, like the rest of her useless family, was ugly as sin. For her sake, he tried to hint the truth from time to time, but she never got the point. That was a shame, because no one in their right mind would want to mate with her and condemn their child to the same looks. She was wasting her time and everybody else’s with her attempts at flirting.

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Oh, get out of my way!” Lucius pushed past her and swept through the room until he came to a halt in front of the armchair his stalker was occupying.

“I’ve been talking to you.”

“That’s nice.” Snape looked up and gave him a cold smile. “Now that we’ve established that, you might want to look for someone else to talk to. It’s been a pleasure.”

“Snape!”

“That would be me. But, as I was trying to say, I’m busy.” He indicated towards the book in his lap. “McGonagall expects me to read this before tomorrow. It’s inconvenient, but there’s nothing I can do about that.”

Since when had that brat become that cheeky? Lucius huffed.

“Bless you!”

“Excuse me?”

“It sounded like you were sneezing. I was only being polite.”

Lucius frowned. He had come over to confront Snape and to tell him that he was to leave him alone or else. But somehow, it didn’t seem worth the hassle anymore.

He turned around and left, his expression neutral and with no scowl on his face.

\--

Juggling life as a student and a few nights per month spent on Death Eater raids had been trying. Being at home and on call all day long was worse. The only positive aspect he had been able to find was the fact that, being out of Hogwarts meant being away from Snape. Finally, no one was watching his every move any longer and he was free to do whatever he wanted.

Well, theoretically. Instead of Snape’s discreet watch, he was now exposed to his father’s obsessive planning. It took him two weeks to understand that he was in charge of nothing regarding his life. When he got up, ate, went to bed: everything was subordinated to the plans.

For days, he would see no one but the one or other house-elf. That was almost worse than no one.

Then meetings or raids would take place. There were people, but they hid behind masks and he was only learning to identify them by other means than looking at their faces. He didn’t count the soon-to-be corpses.

Some days, Lucius was lucky. His father would beckon him into his study and teach him everything he had to know about how to manage the estate and their other businesses. The change from his full existence was always welcome, though the quizzes that followed the next day were gruesome, as were the repercussions if he had something wrong. 

His father always told him that he was too spoiled. 

Lucius nodded as he was expected to do and wondered what had happened to the credo he had to internalise as a child: Malfoys are the best and deserve to be treated like royalty.

\--

A few years later, another batch of new recruits was to be initiated. Lucius got detailed instructions to look out for one of them since he had no family to introduce him to the life as a Death Eater. 

He could barely suppress his groan when he came to be face to face with one Severus Snape.

“Follow me,” he snapped instead of a greeting.

They were already marked but the Dark Lord preferred not to see them again until they had learned to behave.

“Where are we going?”

“Malfoy Manor.”

“Why?” Snape stopped, crossing his arms in front of him.

“Because I say so.”

“Oh?”

“For Merlin’s sake! Learn when to shut up and comply to orders or you won’t survive another week,” Lucius said. He grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, threw it down and pushed Snape into the fireplace.

\--

He would never admit it out loud, but life had become more interesting with Snape around. At least there was someone to talk to from time to time and Lucius always enjoyed teaching someone else. Of course, Snape was no easy student, but after a while, he had accepted that Lucius was the one to call the shots.

However, when the Dark Lord learned of Snape’s talent in front of a cauldron, the situation changed yet again. Suddenly, they were no longer teacher and student, they were equals. It transpired that the Dark Lord had been looking for a Potions Master for a long time and seemed to be determined not to let Snape out of his clutches, now that he had him.

Lucius got instructions to find the brat a Potions Master who would take him on as an apprentice – and while he was at it, he was also supposed to convince his father to pay for all expenses that would come up. The Dark Lord never asked. He demanded.

Part of Lucius basked in the knowledge that Snape would be financially dependent on his family, but another part of him resented the fact that they would be associated with a half-blood. His father had not been amused.

\--

Snape’s studies went well, almost too well in Lucius’ opinion, and he was climbing up the ranks. It was annoying to watch, since Lucius had been determined to become the right hand man of the Dark Lord. For quite a while, there had been no competition among his generation of Death Eaters. And now, the brat he was supporting on the Dark Lord’s orders threatened to take his rightful place.

His father wasn’t happy with that development, either. Punishing Snape for his success was impossible, so he made sure that Lucius understood how much of a disappointment he was. He understood where he father was coming from. Of course he should have tried harder to find a way to impress their master. A pretty face and a few Gringotts’ vaults seemed hardly enough anymore.

Once, Lucius dared to ask his father what he himself had contributed to the cause and to please the Dark Lord. He never made the same mistake again.

\--

“She is pregnant,” Lucius said.

“Who is?” Snape had the audacity to not even look up from his cauldron.

“Narcissa. Who else?”

“Half of the population walking upon the face of the earth are female. I don’t have percentages at hand, but it’s safe to say that quite a few of them are of childbearing age and are to be considered potentially pregnant.” Snape glanced at him. “Not to mention the zoo you house at the Manor.”

“Excuse me?” Lucius regretted ever having come to see Snape that day, not to mention share the news. 

“You said ‘she’. That doesn’t imply whether it’s a human you’re talking about.”

Resignedly, Lucius shook his head. “I don’t understand how you managed to survive that long.”

That wasn’t exactly the truth. He knew what that was about. Snape was useful. And the Dark Lord would punish anyone who dared touch a hair on his head. Not that one wanted to do that.

Snape raised an eyebrow in response.

For a few minutes, everything that could be heard was the bubbling of the potion and the random crackling of the flames under the cauldron.

Lucius cleared his throat. “There was a reason why I came to tell you that early.”

“Is there? How far along is she?”

“Eight weeks.”

Snape nodded.

“Well, I wanted to propose a deal.”

“A deal. Will both of us get something out of it or just you? If the latter is the case, I don’t think I’m interested.” Snape peered at the acidly smelling concoction and resumed his steering motion. 

Lucius scowled. That would have been his response as well. But, it showed that Snape didn’t have an ounce of respect for him any longer and he didn’t like it. On the other hand, that attitude and the knowledge that Snape would get away with it was exactly what made him the right candidate.

“Come and see me tonight if you can fit it into your schedule,” Lucius said. He turned around and left the potions laboratory with his head held high. He would not play by Snape’s rules.

\--

As predicted (and hoped), Snape made an appearance after dinner, just in time for a drink in front of the fire. Lucius had arranged for his parents to have dinner with friends and Narcissa was sent out of the room with a telling glance. 

“Have a seat.” Lucius pointed to one of the armchairs. He lowered himself into another and poured them both a generous amount of Firewhiskey.

“Let’s make this short. The Dark Lord is awaiting a few potions I created for him.”

Lucius wanted to smack him. Of course he had to boast, letting Lucius know how important he was. Damn him.

Instead of yelling at Snape, Lucius settled for a lame, “Yes, well, I’m sure you will get everything to him in time.”

“I always do,” Snape said with a glint in his eyes.

“Of course.” Lucius sneered. If he hadn’t been interested in roping Snape in into his plans, he would have kicked him out by now.

“So. You meant to say?”

“I… We want you to be the godfather of our child.”

Snape chuckled. “Yes, sure. Now tell me why I’m really here.”

“As I said, we would be honoured if you agreed to be its godfather,” Lucius said through gritted teeth. He hated having to ask for anything.

“I’m not even fond of children. You know that, Malfoy. Why would you want to expose your child to my temper?”

“Because the child needs godparents. It would look strange if we didn’t name anyone,” Lucius said. 

“If you say it like that… Who is the other victim?”

“Bellatrix.”

“Lestrange?” 

“She’s Narcissa’s older sister.” And the only one suitable for the task. The oldest Black daughter, Andromeda, was disowned once she married a Muggle. There was no way Lucius could bestow an honour like that on her. The Dark Lord and his father would have a fit. Not to mention that he despised her for her disloyalty to the family. 

“Beside her, I will seem like the responsible, loving godparent,” Snape said, no hint of judgement in his voice.

Unfortunately, he was right. Bella was mad. Lucius tried to tell himself that he was not only jealous of her standing with the Dark Lord. No. That woman was a mad, blood lusty sadist. He couldn’t even imagine sending his yet unborn child to have a holiday at his godmother’s sometime in the future. 

But picking her was the right thing to do. She would count as Narcissa’s choice. His choice would be Snape since, unfortunately, he didn’t have any siblings. There was still Snape’s blood status to consider, but Lucius thought that could be overlooked. He was an important man in the Dark Lord’s eyes. No one would question Lucius’ decision, at least not in front of witnesses.

There was a lot he didn’t know about Snape. He had to admit that. But, he was sure that, once he had pledged his loyalty, he would do anything to keep the child safe. And, that was what Lucius was looking for. Should anything happen to him, he needed someone reliable as back-up. He wanted this child and he wanted it to grow up and do the family name proud. He wouldn’t let anyone endanger that plan. 

“You are serious.”

“Of course I am,” Lucius said. 

“All right.” Snape nodded. “Then let’s hear what’s in it for me.”

Lucius licked his lips. He had given that a lot of thought. A lot of things had come to his mind only to get dismissed instantly. “At first, I wanted to offer you protection within the family.”

“However, it occurred to you that I would laugh in your face and leave instantly.”

“Yes. Though you realise that by becoming the child’s godfather you will be a member of the family.”

“Wonderful. I will make a mental note to send your parents an owl for the holidays.”

“I am sure it will be much appreciated,” Lucius said. His mother would glance at the note and bin it before his father had the chance to see it. It would only serve to increase his blood pressure.

“Of course it will.” Taking a sip from his drink, Snape leaned back against the backrest of the chair. “Since this is not going to be my reward, I’m curious to learn what you chose to bribe me into helping you.”

Inwardly, Lucius groaned. He would have preferred Snape to think that Lucius was doing him a favour. But, his offer was too good to decline and, in the end, it wouldn’t matter why Snape agreed. 

“Freedom.”

“Freedom,” Snape repeated. “What kind of freedom?”

“I thought about buying one of your inventions. I know that, so far, you have issues selling them. It would provide you with the monetary means to find yourself a home. Or you could pay off that ridiculously long list of outstanding items you have with apothecaries all over Britain.”

Snape pursed his lips. “Or you could acquit that ‘ridiculously long list’ and buy an invention of my choice.”

Lucius managed to suppress the urge to roll his eyes, albeit barely. He could just imagine what invention Snape had in mind.

\--

His father hadn’t been pleased. Not about the dent in the family vault that formed when Lucius had to pay Snape as he had promised and not about Lucius’ choice of a godfather for his first grandchild. 

When it turned out that said grandchild was a boy and therefore the future heir of the Malfoys, there were a few more things he had to add. Lucius was forced to listen, willingly or not, and asked himself afterwards what he had been thinking.

The only aspect that he had predicted correctly was that, since Snape was rising in the ranks of the Dark Lord, he wasn’t shunned by their acquaintances. 

Nonetheless, his father had been very specific in what he thought of him and his decisions and Lucius had to seek out Snape to get some potions to cope with the after-effects of the curses. Lucius wondered if, now that there was another male descendent on the way, his father seemed to value Lucius’ life less than he had before. That thought was disconcerting.

\--

Snape, the sentimental idiot, hadn’t bought himself a presentable house, but used the money he had got to turn the hovel he had inherited from his father into something inhabitable. Those were Snape’s words. Lucius wouldn’t deem it acceptable for his house-elves, let alone a human being. He was offended that Malfoy money had been misused like that.

“Well, since you came by uninvited, I don’t see how the state of my home is a problem,” Snape said, his hand still on the door handle.

“You want me to leave again? I just arrived.”

“You came to criticise. Since you already said what you wanted to say, yes, I think now would be a good time for you to go back to the Manor.”

“I did not come to pick at your ‘house’. I wanted to tell you in person that your godchild was born this morning.” Lucius manfully disguised his distaste for his surroundings, though he couldn’t help but wish he had forwarded the good news per owl.

Snape paused. “Oh.”

Didn’t he want to congratulate him? Of course Lucius knew he couldn’t expect an expensive present to mark the occasion, but a reaction from Snape to express his happiness wouldn’t go amiss.

After a few moments, Lucius invited him to the Manor for that night. “Maybe you would like to meet your godson.”

“I’ll make sure that I’m free for a short visit,” Snape said. He was still rooted to the spot by the door.

“Wonderful,” Lucius said and left hurriedly, eager to leave this sad excuse of a house behind.

\--

All afternoon, Lucius pondered what to do about Snape. That man was a disgrace and welcoming him into the family had been a mistake, he could see that now. He had only wanted the best for his child and now it looked like he had saddled the boy with two unworthy godparents. Bellatrix… well, there had been nothing he could have done to prevent her from becoming godmother. But how could he allow the boy to be seen in public with Snape? Well, that hadn’t been an issue when he had chosen him. But, Lucius had lost a lot of his initial optimism. Would Snape really care for the boy? He seemed disinterested when he told him about the birth and didn’t even ask his name.

When he returned home, Narcissa asked when Snape would be coming by. Lucius answered and she nodded, satisfied. Apparently, her sister had announced herself for the same night and that way, they only had to prepare for one visit.

Lucius liked having guests, but he preferred spending his time with people worth his while. Neither Bellatrix nor Snape fit into that category.

His sister-in-law was the first one to make an appearance. She brought Draco some pricey magical artefacts with little use to a child. Plus, they were potentially risky to keep in the Manor. Lucius assumed that she wanted them to know that she had the necessary means to afford said items. Or, she was just looking for a safe place to hide them. Both options were equally possible and most likely a mixture of both was true.

Narcissa took her to Draco’s nursery to present the child to his aunt and Lucius waited by the Floo for Snape to arrive. He prayed that the outfit Snape had chosen was no complete catastrophe, because in that case, Bellatrix would have a field day with him. The piteous woman begrudged him his success and, whenever they met, she was looking for something to criticise about him. Not that it was hard to do. She found something every time.

Well, that night she would have to look a little longer. Snape’s robes looked new, at least, and he had found a way to wrangle the greasy strands he called hair into a ponytail that looked halfway decent.

On their way to one of the living rooms where they would meet the women and the child, Lucius’ father joined them. Never one to be discrete to spare another one’s feelings, he said, “I see you spend a few Sickles on a new outfit. I do hope that the purchase didn’t go at my grandson’s expense.”

“Thankfully, I managed to hold on to the change,” Snape answered in the same tone. He didn’t add anything else, but Lucius was certain that, had there been no witnesses, either his father or Snape would be dead now. “The remaining Knuts were spent with the boy’s best interest in mind.”

Lucius prayed to every God he didn’t believe in that Snape had the foresight and actually brought a present for the boy with him. If he had nothing to show that evening, things would soon get unpleasant. Not feeling in the mood for the inevitable fight, Lucius swore that, from now on, he would have a pile of presents ready for any occasion that might arise. He would sign the cards in Snape’s name and tell everyone that the man had sent them early, unwilling to risk a possible delay. Well, unfortunately, that resolve didn’t help at the moment and it would be no longer important if there was a death in the family that night. He would wait with any arrangements until he was certain that they were needed, starting tomorrow at the earliest.

“The remaining Knuts?” Lucius’ father turned a very unbecoming shade of red. 

“He was joking, Father,” Lucius said. If Snape was not, he would kill him himself.

“It was not funny.”

“No, it rarely is. That’s why he’s paid for his potions and not for his humour.” Inwardly, Lucius rolled his eyes. Was that how parents with little children felt? Mediating was not something Lucius enjoyed doing. That’s what wives were for.

“Too bad he never learned enough manners so as not to disgrace his family,” the old man stated and sneered when Snape’s head snapping up at the insult. 

“Though, of course, a child is rarely worth more than the people he descends from.”

“They died years ago, so there is no need to feel sorry for them any longer,” Snape said, a smile disfiguring his features.

Uncertain who he despised more, Lucius quickened his steps, hoping they would follow. He wanted that night to end before he did something rash.

Thankfully, they reached their destination soon after that joyful conversation petered out. His father took the lead, ushering Lucius into the room, making sure to step inside before Snape. 

“This is my grandson,” his father announced when they all had a clear view of the bundle of cloths lying on a cot close to the sofa where Narcissa and her sister were seated. “Draco Lucius Malfoy.”

Snape stepped closer, peering down, probably looking for something resembling human features in between all that fabric. 

“Yes, well, I’m sure he will be an asset to the family.”

“I’ll take him out so you can have a proper look.” Narcissa was going to get up but Snape waved her off.

“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. He’s… probably tired, since he’s sleeping.”

“Oh, but earlier he was awake for a while and Bella could greet him. Wouldn’t you like to meet him?”

“I’m sure there will be other opportunities.” Snape produced a parcel wrapped in silver and laid it in the cot, placing it at the foot end where the child’s feet didn’t reach. “I’ll see myself out. Have a nice evening. And, by the way, congratulations!”

He turned and was gone before either of them had a chance to react. Lucius felt cheated out of the show Bellatrix was supposed to put on whenever she met Snape. Unwrapping the present was also only half as fun as it had promised to be in Snape’s presence.

His father was the first one to reach for the thing and was about to rip open the paper. 

“Thank you, Abraxas. That’s very considerate,” Narcissa said and held her hand out. Turning the present around in her hands, she looked up at Lucius. “Do you want to open it?”

“No, that’s fine. You do it,” Lucius said. If it was anything totally embarrassing, he didn’t want to be the one stuck with it.

Nodding, his wife started by pulling off the ribbon. The wrapping followed and then she was held a small box out for everyone to see. “Maybe he got him jewellery? A ring, perhaps?”

“No. This is Snape you’re talking about. If anything, it will be disgustingly cheap and probably cause a rash if it’s worn,” Bellatrix said. “I wouldn’t allow it near my child’s skin.”

Narcissa hummed. “Let’s have a look.” She fiddled with the lock and when it opened eventually, she produced a vial that was hanging from a necklace. It was small, not bigger than an amulet, and held some golden liquid.

“Well, Snape certainly didn’t lie. That couldn’t have cost more than a few Knuts.” His father eyed the vial disdainfully. “What is the necklace made of? Is it at least gold?” When Narcissa nodded, he asked, “What gold content?”

“Does it matter? Draco won’t ever be in the position where he will have to cash it,” Lucius said. 

“That’s beside the point. All of that present is clearly substandard and it shows how little respect that man has for our family.”

“Father, please. We don’t even know what is inside the vial. Maybe it’s a potion?” That was likely, wasn’t it? Snape was a Potions Master and he had about seven months to prepare something for the child. To Lucius’ knowledge, not many potions were complex enough that their brewing process took that long. He’d have to do some reading, but there was a chance that the gift wasn’t completely worthless.

“Or maybe it’s coloured water that’s supposed to ‘look nice’. That is, if we are lucky. Maybe he put something inside that will harm the boy? Lucius, I really have to wonder what obsessed you to choose Snape. It was a mistake.”

Bella nodded. “I told Narcissa that Rabastan would have been willing to take that place.”

“Well, yes, but Lucius wanted to pick out one of the godparents himself and I couldn’t deny him that wish,” Narcissa said. She put the gift back into the box and closed it. “I don’t believe Severus would harm Draco in any way. Whatever it is, it was meant well. And, it’s nice to look at. Maybe Draco will want to wear it sometime.”

“He will have better suited jewellery to choose from as he gets older,” Lucius’ father said. “My wife and I got him a decent collection for the birth and will add on a few items each birthday.”

“I’m sure he will be pleased, Father.” Personally, he doubted the boy would care that much. He himself favoured a few selected items and wore them all the time. But, other than a few family heirlooms, none of them held any value for him. They were great to boast about, but that was all there was to it.

\--

Something incredible had happened the night before. The Dark Lord had been vanquished. Not in a duel with another powerful wizard like that doddering old coot, Dumbledore, but a child. It was impossible to say what had happened exactly, but the boy’s parents had been found dead, as had the remains of the Dark Lord. The boy was reported to be alive, though.

Lucius couldn’t understand it. How could a mere child harm their Lord?

Aside from his incomprehension of the whole situation, Lucius had also to cope with a changed world. Where before being associated with the Dark Lord had been a plus factor, now it looked like that connection could bring his downfall. Not only could he end up in Azkaban, but his whole family was in danger of losing their social standing.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t ask his father since he had died six months ago. His mother was no help as was Narcissa. Women had no grasp of political decisions like men. 

Sadly, he also had no one else to turn to. What use were your acquaintances when they were either under suspicion themselves or already on their way to prison? Had he invested in the wrong sort of people after all?

Lucius was aware that time was running out. Soon, they would come and arrest him. And, if he had no defence ready by then, everything he and his ancestors had worked for would be ruined. 

So he found himself talking to the only person who would understand, were he old enough to understand anything at all.

“You see, the only thing left to try is to make them believe that I was under the Imperius Curse all along. It’s no problem blaming everything on Father since he’s no longer around to defend himself,” Lucius explained to his seventeen months old son. Draco was fiddling with the vial, hanging from the necklace he wore most of the time now. “No one else is left to help us, you know. Even your godfather is in Azkaban, I believe.”

Lucius didn’t know that for certain. But, if Snape was not already there, it wouldn’t take much longer for him to land himself behind bars. After all, if Lucius had no plan to save himself, what were Snape’s options?

“I really hope the idiots are going to believe the tale I will try to sell them. If they catch on to the fib, you’re going to lose your father. You’ll be stuck with your mother and grandmother, presumably in whatever hovel the ministry will assign to them. Since there won’t be house-elves around, you will get many chores to do. You won’t get the education I have planned for you and there’s no telling who you end up marrying. The Malfoy line will go down the drain.” Lucius sighed. There was no sense telling Draco all that, but so was talking to his peacocks. 

“Papa?”

Lucius scowled. “If I ever find out who taught you that word…” 

Unfortunately, it was also the only thing the boy could pronounce clearly. Everything else was incomprehensible babble.

“Papa…” Draco’s lower lip protruded and he looked up at Lucius with wide, grey eyes.

“What’s with that whiny tone? Stop that at once. So far, nothing has happened that would give you reason to cry,” he said. Draco blinked rapidly and averted his gaze. “That’s better. Well, it seems like I have to go now. I wanted to seek out a few contacts at the Ministry, offering my cooperation before they come and get me. It will make a better impression.”

Getting up, Lucius summoned a house-elf and instructed it to watch over Draco with a wave of his hand. Before he exited the room, he looked back towards the sofa where they had sat. Draco was still playing with Snape’s gift, leaving Lucius wondering what was so interesting about it. The boy had enough toys to play with, he had no need to resort to that thing to help him pass the time and yet he was attached to it.

\--

“Now look who’s daring to show his face again,” Lucius said. He stood a few feet from the fireplace, arms crossed in front of his chest and sneer in place.

“I’m here to enquire about Draco’s wellbeing. If you’d rather I leave again, that is no problem,” Snape said, one hand reaching for the Floo Powder.

“Since you’re here already, you might as well stay for a short visit. It’s half an hour yet until dinner.” Lucius didn’t invite him to join them. Though his mother had followed his father and Narcissa would never voice her displeasure with his decisions, he didn’t want an intruder in their home. Not tonight.

Tonight, he wanted to celebrate his freedom.

Taking him to Draco’s nursery, he opened the door and allowed Snape to step inside. “Have a look for yourself. The boy is fine.”

“So I see.” Those eerie black eyes swept across the room until they landed on Draco once more. “I brought him another vial.” 

“Another vial?” Lucius frowned. “What happened to the other one?” And more important, who had told Snape since Lucius never noticed that it wasn’t there any longer. Only now did he see that the necklace was, indeed, bare; the pendant that used to be there was missing.

“It must have fallen off.”

“Yes, it must have.” But that didn’t explain how Snape knew. It had been months since he had seen Draco last and most likely the vial had been in place then.

The same kind of liquid was swirling in the tiny glass bottle, Lucius realised when he took it from Snape to fix on the necklace. Draco abandoned his book when he noticed his father approaching.

“Uncle!” The boy said, almost squealed. “I hoped so much…” He scrambled to his feet and bounced across the room, coming to a stop in front of Snape. 

“You hoped I would come back?”

“Yes. ‘course! And papa. Don’t want papa gone,” Draco said. He worried his lower lip with his teeth. “Good?”

“Perfect.” Snape nodded towards the vial. “Take care of it. We wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

Draco nodded eagerly.

“What did you give him?” Lucius asked.

“How did you escape prison, Lucius?” Snape asked instead of answering. He patted Draco’s head and motioned for the boy to resume his ‘reading’.

“How did you, _Severus_?” Since when were they on first name basis? “Is it true that you got that fool Dumbledore to speak for you? Were you his spy?”

“Always remember that some rumours are correct.”

A blond eyebrow rose. “Are those?”

“He did speak up for me.”

“Why?” The question was rather general, Lucius knew. Why would Dumbledore defend Snape if he hadn’t betrayed the Dark Lord? And, if that was the reason, why would Snape do something atrocious like that? Nonetheless, he felt some grudging respect for Snape’s ability to remove himself out of danger’s way.

“How did you make people believe that you were held under an Unforgivable for years?”

“I was lucky.” He really had been, even more so because he was still uncertain how he managed that feat.

“So was I,” Snape said. His gaze softened when he looked at Draco. “So was I.”

\--

THE END


End file.
